Hello Dolls,(My Dear Besties)
I hope this letter finds you in a place of peace, though I know the world has a funny way of trying to steal that peace. We live in a society that constantly pushes us to meet an impossible standard—whether it’s about looks, weight, skin complexion, faith, or relationships. We’re told we need to look a certain way, be a certain way, and perform a certain way to be loved, valued, and accepted. But let’s take a moment and ask ourselves, “Who are we really living for?”
Sweet friends, I know many of you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and if I’m honest, sometimes I feel that burden too. For the women in our lives—and especially our sisters in Black communities—there’s an additional weight: the absence of fathers in homes, the brokenness that haunts us like shadows we can’t escape. Some of us are seeking validation in relationships that aren’t healthy, finding ourselves in what’s known as the “pick-me culture,” where we try to mold ourselves into what we think men want, even if it means losing our own identity. It’s heartbreaking. For others, you’re feeling invisible even in marriage—lonely, unseen, misunderstood. Let me remind you that your worth is not defined by anyone else’s opinion or approval. Not a man, not a societal standard, and certainly not the world’s broken view of who you should be.
I see you, and I feel you. But, I also want to remind you of something far more powerful: God’s love for you is unshakable.
The War for Your Mind, Body, and Soul
We are living in the middle of a spiritual battle, ladies. It’s not just about external forces but the constant inner war. The world is telling you that your value lies in your beauty, your relationship status, your productivity, or your ability to perform. These lies infiltrate our minds every day, but here’s the truth: You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). The enemy knows that if he can twist your identity and make you feel small, insignificant, or unworthy, he’s already won. But we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12). The war is real, but so is our victory in Christ.
In a world where women are constantly scrutinized and belittled, and men are often absent in households (especially in Black communities where fathers are often absent or disconnected), it’s easy to feel broken. But God sees your pain, and He’s calling you to something far greater. He’s calling you to wholeness. I want to remind you, dear besties, that while the world might try to tear you apart based on your appearance, your past, or the lack of love you’ve received, you don’t have to let the world define you.
Healing Starts from Within
I want to encourage you today to take a moment and reflect. When life feels overwhelming and you’ve experienced heartbreak—whether from a partner, society, or even your own family—it’s easy to spiral. But the best thing you can do, in this moment, is to pause and focus on you.
Yes, I’m talking about prioritizing yourself. Taking time to nurture your mind, body, and soul. In a society that is constantly asking you to perform or meet unrealistic standards, this is your chance to step back and reconnect with who you really are in Christ.
Start with the mind. Renew your thoughts through Scripture: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). How do you see yourself? What lies have you believed about your worth? Let the Word of God reframe your thinking, replacing insecurities with truth. His love for you isn’t based on your appearance or achievements. It’s unconditional and everlasting.
Next, the body. Your body is a temple, created and designed by God. It deserves to be honored and treated with respect, no matter what anyone else says. Pamper yourself, not out of pride or vanity, but out of respect for the vessel God has given you. Whether it’s taking a walk in nature, having a skincare routine, or getting rest, care for your body like the beautiful temple it is. You are worth that time and care.
And finally, the soul. Heal your soul by drawing close to God. Take time to pray, to worship, to be still and listen for His voice. His words are life, and He wants to renew you from the inside out. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3). In His presence, you’ll find true healing and restoration.
A Word for the Women Who Feel Alone
To the women who feel alone—even in relationships—please hear me when I say: You are never truly alone. I know it’s easy to feel disconnected, especially when your relationship doesn’t reflect the love and respect you deserve. But let’s look at God’s Word for guidance. The Bible tells us, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God created us for connection, for community. But true companionship starts with God first. When you allow God to fill that empty space in your heart, you’ll find that your identity doesn’t depend on someone else’s love, but on His.
You don’t need validation from men who don’t respect you. You don’t need to change yourself or shrink yourself to fit into a box that wasn’t designed for you. You are loved, just as you are. God has a plan for your life that goes beyond what the world says about you.
So, Besties, Here’s My Love Letter to You
It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to pamper yourself, even in the midst of the world’s chaos. But above all, it’s okay to focus on your spiritual healing and growth. Do not let your worth be determined by a fleeting culture or by the criticisms of a broken society.
I know that heartbreak, loneliness, and disappointment can weigh heavily on the heart. But know this, God is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Your healing, your peace, and your worth are found in Him. Stay rooted in His truth, because no matter what the world says or what you’ve been through, your value is unshakeable.
So, take a deep breath, relax, and focus on your own growth and healing. Keep going, keep trusting, and keep loving yourself. You are so precious, and the world needs the beautiful, strong, and empowered woman that God created you to be.
With all my love,
Hello Dolls
Your Internet Bestie 💖
Scripture for Reflection:
- Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
- Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
- Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
- Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
- Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
